[ID: Screenshot of a TikTok showing the upper part of the user's head, their eyes looking to their side. The text above them reads: "I just saw someone with He/they pronouns say they're a lesbian? They also had the f slur tattooed on themselves?!??!" /End ID]
Very dumb Netflix Castlevania FixIt AU where Trevor is in town when they try to burn Lisa at the stake and he’s like… “Welp, can’t let this shit happen,” and saves her. And when Dracula find them Lisa’s all like “Oh, my love, this wonderful kind man saved me!” and Trevor’s like “No, shut up, I’m a piece of shit.” And Dracula’s too busy being relieved to care and he asks, “Who are you friend?”
“Trevor Belmont.”
And now Dracula is having an existential crisis because now he owes his wife’s life to his ancestral enemy and Trevor feels conflicted because he just saved Dracula’s fucking wife and pissed off all of the Church. So Dracula just… has him move in to his Castle until the heat dies down.
Cue a slice of life comedy where Dracula and Trevor are constantly trying to kill each other but never when Lisa and Alucard are around because the they’d get yelled at and get no desert.
Sypha eventually gets involved because Lisa shanghies Dracula into turning the Castle into a safe haven for people being hunted by the Church and now Trevor and Alucard are also competing with each other to impress the hot witch girl while also being a little gay for each other. Lisa has already picked out the wedding cake. Dracula weeps.
Sypha vibes with Hector and Isaac who she helps get out of their emo phases. Carmilla is like “Hahaha, Drac’s gone soft, time to take him out and take over the world!” Trevor, of course, slays her when she tries, and Dracula now owes the Belmont an even more direct life debt.
